I wrote in my journal that I was going to get in the shower and go to bed, but I started a load of laundry and started typing this instead.
Today was a day with multiple doctor appointments and very little breathing room. So maybe staying up a little while longer is a good thing. I want more sleep, but I’m not getting it, and I need to lean completely on Christ. I’m still in training, and things are ramping up. Some thoughts came up that I need to meditate on some more, but they are indicators of what’s to come on this journey with following Christ.
I used to spend a lot of time planning every detail and get disappointed when the day fell apart. Anymore, it’s just reminders of what’s due and a general idea of what might get done that week. I have a running to-do list that also ungulates. My motto is morphing from ‘figure it out/do it yourself’ to ‘Hakuna Matata’, and that is an interesting transition so far. A welcome one, but interesting. Uncomfortable, hella uncomfortable, and much needed. We are called to be childlike and not to worry when we fully follow Jesus.
We have no place to rest our heads when we no longer live in the world. We are outcasts when we no longer follow the world. We are divergent when we no longer follow the world. We are difficult when we no longer follow the world. We stand out when we no longer follow the world. We are hated when we no longer follow the world. We are ridiculed when we no longer follow the world. We see through lies when we no longer follow the world. We are no longer manipulated when we no longer follow the world. The demons cannot “read” us when we no longer follow the world. When we fully relinquish our lives to Adonai and obey his predestined will for our lives, we are no longer of this world.
I was thinking about the previous church I attended, and things haven’t been sitting right since I stopped attending. I’ll need to go back, but not anytime soon. Other parts of the plan I haven’t been shown yet need to play out. Right now, I need to focus on consistency, obedience, and submission when Yahweh speaks to me. Especially in the middle of the night. 3 am prayer calls are still hit-or-miss. My brain still misinterprets it, and I get a snack and get back under the covers. Old habits die hard.
On the calendar I put out at the beginning of March, it said there’d be a podcast, but the momentum changed into journaling more instead of piecing that together anytime soon. Podcasts will come back eventually. Right now, Adonai has me getting my thoughts out more frequently. They tend to build up, creating internal tension. There are a lot of them and a lot of it.
I’m getting the ‘spidey-sense’ this is it for now.
Talk soon
,Robin
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